A REALLY RANDOM CHRISTMAS MESSAGE...

CHRISTMAS TIME HAS COME AND GONE. HOWEVER, IT HAS MADE ME REALIZE HOW BLESSED I AM TO HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING FAMILY. THIS YEAR CHRISTMAS WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT; IT WAS SPENT BETWEEN TWO DIFFERENT FAMILIES. THIS WHOLE WEEK TRAVIS AND I HAVE BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN OUR TWO FAMILIES. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO BE FROM THE SAME TOWN, BUT MAYBE IM MISTAKEN. ITS BEEN KIND OF HARD BECAUSE I WANT TO SPEND ALL MY TIME WITH MY FAMILY WHILE TRAVIS FEELS THE SAME BUT ABOUT HIS FAMILY. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE DONE VERY WELL WITH SPLITTING OUR TIME. I MEAN EVERYONE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH THE COOL COUPLE. IT'S COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE.
TY WAS SO FUNNY THIS CHRISTMAS.  THE FIRST NIGHT TRAVIS AND I CAME TO FRESNO HE CAME UP TO ME AND PUT HIS HANDS TO MY NECK (SAYING IN A VERY THREATNING VOICE) "I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT TRAVIS CAN NOT SLEEP WITH US THIS CHRISTMAS EVE!"  YOU SEE THE CHILDREN IN MY FAMILY HAVE THIS TRADITION THAT WE ALL SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM ON CHRISTMAS EVE.  SO I ANSWERED TY SAYING "UHHH..YES HE IS, HE'S PART OF THIS FAMILY NOW."  TY TIGHTENED HIS GRIP RESPONDING "I'VE KEPT THIS TRADITION ALIVE FOR OVER 15 YEARS AND HE'S NOT GOING TO RUIN IT!" DON'T WORRY THIS ALL ENDED UP IN LAUGHTER.
ANYWAYS, BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT BEING GREATFUL. THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON WAS VERY SIMPLE WITH MY FAMILY. IT WAS BASICALLY FOCUSED AROUND BABY OLIV (MY SISTERS BABY GIRL). EVERYONE SPOILED THE LITTLE ONE AND IT WAS EXCITING TO CELEBRATE OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS MORNING WITH HER. I THINK SHE WAS MORE EXCITED ABOUT EVERYONE PAYING ATTENTION TO HER THEN THE PRESENTS IN WHICH SHE GOT. I BELIEVE I LOVE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH, NOT BECAUSE OF THE PRESENTS THAT WE GIVE OR RECIEVE FROM ONE ANOTHER, BUT REALLY I BELIVE ITS BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH LOVE IS FELT. WE WAKE UP CHRISTMAS MORNING AND IF YOU JUST PAUSE TO LOOK AROUND AT YOUR FAMILY LAUGHING, SMILING, HUGGING, AND SHARING STORIES OF PAST CHRISTMAS' YOU CAN'T HELP BUT THINK ABOUT HOW BLESSED YOU ARE. (OR AT LEAST THATS HOW I AM).
SO, EVEN THOUGH CHRISTMAS WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR I'VE COME TO REALIZE WHAT CHRISTMAS SHOULD REALLY BE ABOUT. YES, IT IS ABOUT THE BIRTH OF OUR SAVIOR. BUT, I BELIEVE ITS ALSO BECAUSE CHRIST WANTS US TO PAUSE AND LOOK AROUND AT WHO WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED TO CELEBRATE THIS MEMORABLE MOMENT WITH. THINK ABOUT IT: WE COULD HAVE BEEN PUT ON THIS EARTH ALONE, WITH NO FAMILY AT ALL. BUT CHRIST LOVES US SO MUCH WE ARE ABLE TO LIVE THIS LIFE AND CELEBRATE WITH OUR BEST FRIENDS! IN OUR HOME WE HAVE A FRAME THAT SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THIS: "I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO JUST BE YOUR FRIEND, SO GOD LET ME BE YOUR SISTER." OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER, BUT I HOPE YOU GET THE IDEA :) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

The Age of Selfishness

I SEE PEOPLE HAVING BABIES, OR GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC IN THEIR LIVES AND ITS SAD THAT SOMETIMES I ENVY THEM.  IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG I TALKED ABOUT A COUPLE WHO IS RECENTLY MARRIED AND THE HUSBAND HAS CANCER.  SHE HAS A BLOG THAT TALKS ABOUT THEIR JOURNEY AND HOW STRONG THEIR MARRIAGE IS BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.  I THEN COMPARE IT TO THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN TRAVIS AND I AND HOW SIMPLE IT IS AND WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF WE HAD TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.  WOULD WE MAKE IT? HONESTLY I DON'T KNOW.  I DON'T THINK I AM AS STRONG AS OTHERS AND HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH A SIMPLE LIFE.  I AM STILL IN THE STAGE OF BEING REALLY SELFISH AND I KNOW THAT SOMEDAY, SOMEHOW THAT HAS TO CHANGE.  I WORK WITH A BUNCH OF OLD LADIES AT SEE'S CANDIES AND ONE OF THEM EVEN SAID THAT I AM SELFISH.  SHE SAID THIS BECAUSE I TOLD HER I COULDN'T WAIT TO HAVE A BABY (NO I'M NOT PREGNANT) SHE THEN WENT ON EXPLAINING TO ME THAT I AM IN THE "SELFISH AGE."  AT FIRST IT KIND OF HURT MY FEELINGS, BUT THEN I GOT THINKING.  I REALLY AM SELFISH.  THERE ARE A BUNCH OF LITTLE THINGS THAT PROVES THIS.  EXAMPLE:  TRAVIS HAS TO GET UP KINDA EARLY IN THE MORNING AND WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED I TOLD HIM I WOULD WAKE UP AND MAKE HIM LUNCH (TO SHOW MY LOVE).  HOWEVER, I DID THAT TWICE....AND THEN NEVER AGAIN.  selfish.  I TELL TRAVIS WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT...A LOT...selfish. I NEVER GET READY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT AND FEEL NO NEED TO IMPRESS TRAVIS ANY MORE...selfish AND, HONESTLY, SOMETIMES I WANT TO HAVE A BABY...BUT I'VE REALIZED THAT I CAN'T DO THIS BECAUSE I AM SELFISH.  I WANT TO HAVE A BABY BECAUSE I THINK IT WILL MAKE LIFE MORE EXCITING FOR ME, OR BRING TRAVIS AND I CLOSER...selfish.  FIRST I NEED TO LEARN TO BE SELFLESS.  I NEED TO PUT OTHERS FIRST AND STRIVE TO BECOME MORE MATURE BECAUSE A BABY IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE THAT.  I NEED TO LEARN THAT BEFORE I BRING A LITTLE POH INTO THIS LIFE.  i bet if my mom is reading this she is freaking out. SOMETIMES I LOOK AT MY SISTER SARAH (SHE'S A RETURNED MISSIONARY AKA VERY SELFLESS) AND EVEN THOUGH I THINK I SHOULD STRIVE TO BE MORE LIKE HER I AM STILL SO SO SELFISH AND A PART OF ME DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE BECAUSE I AM TOO SELFISH AND THINK ITS TOO MUCH WORK.  GOSH! I CAN'T EVEN DO MY VISITING TEACHING.
WELL IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING AND YOU ARE STILL READING THATS MY RANT FOR NOW.  SORRY THAT MY LIFE ISNT VERY EXCITING. I JUST WORK TWO JOBS AND THEN COME HOME, EAT, AND SLEEP.  and the picture above is of travis and i celebrating out one month anniversary. ENJOY!